The Right Decision
by noonsam
Summary: Set during Track 13 of the manga. What was Yuki going through after he broke up with Shuichi?


Set during Track 13. We know what happened to Shuichi when Yuki first broke up with him in book 4 of the manga, but what was Yuki going through during that time?

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation (I wish!) or anything associated with it. I just love it.

**The Right Decision**

_It's time to pack up your toys…_

_What? Please-did I do something to make you mad……?_

_I'm sorry, but I have to be blunt for you to get it,_

_I don't like you. Period._

The door slammed, and Yuki sighed and leaned against the wood, cradling his forehead in his hand. Even though he knew he had done the right thing (and it was the right thing), it didn't stop the sinking feeling in his gut that second guessed his decision. Already the apartment seemed—bigger somehow, more empty, more cold. The stark and minimalist décor he had once cultivated with pride now felt—dead—as if all the life had drained out the minute the pink haired baka had left.

He walked into the living room and sat on the couch, the couch his former lover had adopted as his bed after forcing his way in as a roommate. Shuichi's pillow was gone, as was the ridiculous pink bunny that he cherished so much since it was a gift from his idol. The couch no longer seemed as comfortable or inviting. Like the apartment, it too seemed bigger and emptier.

Yuki frowned at his thoughts-this was stupid! He had made the decision to end this relationship; he should not be having these feelings of… what…remorse? Loneliness? He couldn't even figure out what emotion he was feeling. He had removed many lovers from his home and his life over the years, but he had never felt like this before. Never. Only now, because of that damn punk, was he actually wondering if there was another answer. Another option. Another way to keep the boy with him, but not have to deal with the complications and consequences that were sure to come.

He had made the right decision! Shuichi had a future ahead of him and it did not include a cold-hearted bastard to mess it up. He had the backing of NG now, public exposure, and the energy and talent to go far. He also had the charisma and looks to have thousands of fangirls screaming his name and sleeping with his picture under their pillows every night. But girls like boys who like girls right? What teenage girl would faint and scream over a pop star that sleeps with other men? Shuichi was a bundle of energy, bubbling over with happiness and optimism. That energy, that shine, did not need to be destroyed by someone like Yuki Eiri.

Yuki had a brilliant career, wealth, looks, critical acclaim and legions of female fans who would gladly share his bed when he wanted sex. He did not need an over-emotional, loud, hyper-active pink haired baka to cramp his style. Although, to be honest, he couldn't deny his fascination with the singer. From their first moments together he had felt something indescribable in his feelings towards the pint sized brat, something he hadn't felt before. Every day had brought new feelings and actions. He had actually let the brat move in! Imagine if one of his female lovers had tried that! It was an inconceivable idea, yet he had allowed the singer to stay. He had never felt this….attraction to anyone before. Well, except for—but no, he didn't want to go there now.

At any rate, it was over; his words were chosen to do the most damage, cut the cord as swiftly and cruelly as possible. Shuichi could move on with his life and career and Yuki could move on with his.

Yuki arose from the couch and headed for his laptop to work on his latest novel. This chapter of his life was over; it was time to start another.

Yuki awoke the next morning to the sun shining on his face, his body slumped over his laptop, having fallen asleep last night without writing a thing. He rubbed his face and got up to head to the kitchen for coffee. His head ached, his back was sore from the unnatural sleeping position and his mouth tasted like crap. In addition, there was a sick feeling in his stomach, as if he had forgotten something important but didn't want to remember it.

Walking past the couch and seeing no pink hair brought it all rushing back. He had ended it with the baka yesterday. A pang crossed his chest, but he ignored it in favor of his first smoke of the day. He still knew it was for the best. Someone like him should have never been with someone like Shuichi.

A shower, several beers and numerous smokes later had Yuki feeling almost normal. He sat down at his desk and opened his laptop to start writing for the day. He decided as long as he didn't think about yesterday, he could eventually forget about it. Good thing there were no reminders of the brat left in his home. He had made sure the kid took it all so there would be no 'drop bys' later on to pick stuff up. No, he made sure it was all gone. No cute little coffee mug, no shoes in a jumbled heap by the door, no clothes strewn throughout the house, no music blaring, no baka singing……

Hmm. Maybe he **was** thinking about it after all. Gotta stop that. Time to type. But first, he had to get that chair out of his office. The chair **he** would sit in just so he could be close to the writer, babbling on and on about his day, filling the air with life and sound and creating a comforting mood while Yuki typed. When Shuichi sat in the chair, the words flowed from his mind to his keyboard, sentences forming as fast as his fingers could type. Even if he had been blocked before, once the boy was there, his annoying presence seemed to trigger the creative process in the author's mind, making the writing almost effortless until the words were released and the story finished. Then after he was done writing for the day, the chair was close enough for Yuki to reach over and put his hand on the back of that pink head, pulling it in for a deep, passionate kiss that would only break when the blond would scoop his tiny lover up and carry him to the bedr…….

Arrgg! He was doing it again! Concentrate on story!

At 11 o'clock the phone rang. It was Tohma, calling to see if Yuki would meet him for lunch at their usual place. That was good. He couldn't concentrate anyway and hadn't written a thing. Yuki wanted to get out of the silent house (had it always been this quiet?) and he was comfortable with Tohma. Right now, even his incessant nagging would be preferable to the oppressive silence pressing down on him in the apartment.

At noon, he went to put on his coat and spied something sticking out from underneath the couch. He picked it up—it was one of Shuichi's mangas that he read obsessively. Yuki held it in his hand and stared down at it, picturing the boy curled up on the couch or on the floor in his office, reading the book and occasionally giggling. He could almost hear the sounds of the aimless humming that always surrounded the young singer, whether he was aware of it or not. During the day, when the singer was at work he had missed the soothing sounds, now even more so knowing that they were gone forever...

Yuki glanced at the clock and realized he had been staring at the book for 20 minutes and was running late. He started towards the kitchen to throw the book out—there was no reason for him to keep it—when he reconsidered and tossed it on the couch. Somehow it looked like it belonged there, like part of the room. Shaking his head at the odd thought, he left for his lunch date.

Yuki Eiri was pissed.

How dare that—that lap dog of Tohma's trick him into a meeting to discuss his personal life? The last thing he needed or wanted to do today was talk to some sycophant about that pink-haired punk. No one could possibly understand his reasons for dumping the twerp, not even the twerp himself. He hadn't even bothered to explain to Shuichi all the reasons they shouldn't be together, and Yuki felt no compulsion to explain himself to Seguchi's underlings. None of them knew about or understood his past, his problems or his way of dealing with the life he was stuck with. He was sure Shuichi wanted to know more about his past, but was afraid to find out the truth—afraid to find out about the true Yuki Eiri. That was fine with Yuki, he felt no need to burden anyone with his past. It was his and his alone to live with and no one else could be expected to accept or deal with it.

What he needed was a way to forget about the singer. The best way he could think of at that moment was a woman. A long-legged, long-haired beauty to fill his bed and keep him occupied for a night—this night—the first in his bed without Shuichi in the next room. Once he had had a woman or two he could swing back into his old routine of one-night stands and no commitments.

But why did that thought leave him feeling so desolate?

He sat at the bar of his favorite hangout, beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He knew it was only a matter of time and sure enough, within minutes a gorgeous dark-haired woman sat down and smiled at him. Mission accomplished! She was forward and direct and immediately the blond writer knew she was his for the taking. All he had to do was suggest they go somewhere else and his reputation as a lady-killer would be back on track.

Unfortunately, his mind was still playing tricks on him. Every time he looked into her brown eyes he saw amethyst eyes looking back at him. When he looked at her hair, he saw pink. As he listened to her prattle, he heard the pleadings and protestations of the boy as he was kicked out into the cold. Damn! The baka simply would not stop bothering him! Even when the brat wasn't here, he was messing with his mind. Finally, bored with listening to the woman babble and tired of the game his mind was playing with him, Yuki finished off his beer and without another word to his companion left the bar. Alone.

Yuki sat in front of his laptop, the screen still empty, still unable to write a single word. This was ridiculous. He was able to write before he met Shuichi and he would be able to write now that he was gone. Giving up for the day, he lit a smoke and took his beer to the living room.

He thought about what he had said to the singer and the look on his innocent face as he walked out the door and felt that pang in his chest again. He really hadn't wanted to hurt the boy, but he knew he had to be harsh to get his point across and make sure the break was clean and final. Hearing from his producer that Shuichi was taking it so hard bothered him. Maybe if he had been kinder, less abrupt, they both could move on easier. He picked up the manga he had tossed on the couch earlier and thought about closure. Maybe if he dropped by NG, under the pretense of returning the book and explained to the boy why they couldn't be together—maybe even use the classic-but-in-this-case-true 'its not you, its me' line, the kid would take it better. He had to do something. After all, he broke it off with Shuichi because he didn't want the boy to suffer because of his association with him. The thought of the little baka in pain was too much for him to handle.

Decision made, the writer arose, and prepared to leave. As he was getting ready the door buzzer sounded. Wondering who it could be, he opened the door to a crimson-haired man who was leaning nonchalantly against a motorcycle. As Yuki stared the man looked at him contemptuously and said,

"So **you're** Yuki Eiri?"

End

A/N Thank you for reading my first fan fiction! Please let me know what you thought!


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